Today we said goodbye to our first family dog, Lucky. She was such a sweet pup. She warmed to anyone who came over almost immediately, and would let everyone pet her belly.
About a week ago, we had noticed that her breathing was labored, even when she was just laying there. Last night, she refused to eat, and we feared the worst. We took her into the vet, and discovered that Lucky's heart was failing and her abdomen was filling with fluid, making it difficult to breathe. Instead of watching the life slowly be drained from her, we chose to put her to sleep. It was one of the hardest things we've ever had to do. We stayed with her until she was gone. I am so thankful for the vet, who was absolutely perfect. He explained everything clearly, and was so kind and sympathetic. I can't imagine having to go through that process on a regular basis, so a huge high five to all vets out there!
After we spent some time saying goodbye, I felt like a huge weight was pressing on my chest. It was less than pain, but a lot of pressure. I was doing my best to be strong for myself and my wife (my kids chose not to be there), but when we got home, I let the floodgates open. It's really difficult to describe the emotions my family is going through. I've only lost a few people who were close to me, but this is the first family member who I got to see every day, that has passed.
I still can't shake the lump in my throat. I know that distraction from work, and our busy end of the school year schedule will help, but the pain is real. I'm anxious to hop on the bike, and just ride and get out of my head. I'll say it again, this was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do...